Tips & Tools

Brittney and I don't drink, which gives me an unusual vantage point on a question most couples never examine: what is alcohol actually doing to your sex life? Here's the honest accounting — what it genuinely provides, what the physiology shows it costs, and why workarounds prevent development.

Is there actually an optimal time to have sex? The circadian research points toward two windows — early morning and mid-afternoon — and suggests that the time most couples default to is arguably the worst. Here's what the science supports and how to use it.

Most men train their bodies for performance in every domain except the one they think about most. Here's the practical protocol — kegels, reverse kegels, diaphragmatic breathing, hip mobility, cardiovascular work, and core strength — with the research behind why each one matters for sexual function.

The Taoist practice of nine shallow thrusts followed by one deep produces something specific: the contrast amplifies sensation for both partners in ways that uniform deep thrusting can't. Here's the physiology, how to actually practice it, and the clitoral base stimulation element that most people don't know to add.

I sleep better after genuinely connected sex with Brittney. I assumed this was personal. The research supports it — and the mechanisms behind it explain not just why it works but how to optimize for sleep as a genuine benefit of intimate life.

I've bought lingerie for Brittney. I've gotten it right and I've gotten it wrong. Here's what the iterations taught me — the most important reframe, how to handle the sizing minefield, what different styles communicate, and why the note you include matters as much as what's in the box.

Brittney and I came to the wedge pillow through the frustrating realization that regular pillows compress flat within minutes. Here are five specific ways to use a dedicated sex wedge, what each one accomplishes physically, and why it's one of the more practical intimate investments available.

"How much foreplay is too much?" almost never comes from someone who thinks they're overdoing it. Here's the honest answer — what the research shows about duration, why the word "foreplay" is part of the problem, and the specific circumstances where more actually becomes too much.

The "nothing" default is no longer the majority position for men's pubic grooming — but most men are still guessing about what their partners prefer. Here's what the survey data shows, the practical differences between shaved, trimmed, and natural, and the grooming toolkit worth having.

I'm making a slightly controversial argument: afternoon sex is the best sex. Not occasionally — consistently. Here's the physiology behind the afternoon window, the contextual freshness that evening encounters lack, and the particular quality of stolen-time delight that makes it worth protecting.

Brittney and I shower together more than most couples we know — and what I've come to appreciate is that the shower is one of the few places in ordinary life where the conditions for genuine intimacy exist almost by default. Here's the physiology, the psychology, and why couples should do it more.

I used to be bad at dirty talk — not from lack of interest, but from performance anxiety that dissolved once I understood what dirty talk is actually doing neurologically. Here's the science behind why words produce the physiological effects they produce, and what that means for how to approach it.

Most "spice up your marriage" advice produces temporary stimulation and fades. Here are three approaches that produce genuine and durable change — tested through actual use — and why each one works at the level of presence rather than content.

We came to sex toys later than many couples — not from opposition, but from uncertainty about how to approach it. Here's what we've learned: they're not a comment on what's missing. They're allies in the intimate project, and the research backs that up significantly.

Increased semen volume gets searched constantly and answered poorly — either by supplement companies or sources too clinical to be useful. Here's an honest breakdown of what the research supports, from lifestyle factors to the ingredients with real evidence behind them, plus a look at Popstar.

Most advice on spicing up your sex life adds new content to an unchanged dynamic. Here are five approaches that actually work — because they change who's present and how much of each person is genuinely in the room, not just what's happening in it.

Nitric oxide is the signaling molecule that makes erections physically possible — and most men have no idea what it is or that its production declines steadily with age and lifestyle factors. Here's what the research shows about the nitric oxide-libido connection, and the evidence-backed ways to support it.

Up to one in three men experience premature ejaculation — yet it remains one of the most privately carried, shame-laden experiences in men's intimate lives. Here's what the research actually supports, why anxiety makes it worse, and the five approaches that genuinely help.

Massage is one of the most effective tools for relaxing the nervous system — which is exactly why it makes poor foreplay. Here's why Brittney and I separated the two entirely, and what we've found works better as a transition into genuine intimate presence.

Sexologist. Sex therapist. Intimacy coach. These titles are used interchangeably — but they're not the same. Here's a clear breakdown of who does what, what credentials actually mean, and how to figure out which kind of help fits your situation.