top of page
Search
All Posts


Is Porn Healthy or Bad for Your Marriage? An Honest Answer
Most answers to this question are either reflexive condemnation or reflexive permissiveness. Here's the honest version — what the research actually shows about pornography's effects on relationships, the mechanism behind those effects, and the specific questions that determine the answer for your marriage.

Scott Schwertly
Jul 65 min read


Penis Girth: What the Research Actually Shows About What Women Prefer
Most men carry anxiety about length when the research consistently shows girth matters more for women's satisfaction — and the preferred girth sits close to population average. Here's what the science actually shows, why anatomy matters less than most men think, and what actually determines satisfaction.

Scott Schwertly
Jul 36 min read


The Psychology of Sex Is the Sex (And Why We Keep Getting Distracted by the Physical)
The most transformative intimate encounters people describe aren't about technique or position. They're about presence, connection, and a quality of genuine aliveness between two people. Here's why the psychology of sex is the sex — and why the physical, however important, is just how the psychological gets expressed.

Scott Schwertly
Jul 26 min read


The Three Dimensions of Sexual Mastery (And Why Most Men Only Develop One)
Most men who want to improve their intimate lives focus on technique. It matters — and it's the least important of the three dimensions that actually determine the quality of intimate life. Here's the complete framework: Eros, anatomy and technique, and the relational intelligence most men have never developed.

Scott Schwertly
Jul 17 min read


Why Doggy Style Works: The Emotional and Presence Dimension Nobody Talks About
Doggy style is one of the most commonly practiced positions and one of the least honestly discussed. Most content stays on the surface — mechanics, variations, angle. Here's what nobody writes about: the specific emotional and presence dimension that determines whether it's genuinely intimate or just physically accomplished.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 306 min read


Syntribation and Partnered Sex: A Couples Guide to What It Is and How to Work With It
The original syntribation post generated more response than almost anything else on this blog. What it didn't fully address was the couples dimension — what happens when one partner practices syntribation, how it can be adapted for shared intimacy, and what the conversation actually looks like.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 296 min read


Shaved, Trimmed, or Natural: A Man's Guide to Pubic Hair Grooming (Including What Women Actually Prefer)
The "nothing" default is no longer the majority position for men's pubic grooming — but most men are still guessing about what their partners prefer. Here's what the survey data shows, the practical differences between shaved, trimmed, and natural, and the grooming toolkit worth having.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 265 min read


Why Afternoon Sex Is the Best Sex (A Personal Preference, Backed by Science)
I'm making a slightly controversial argument: afternoon sex is the best sex. Not occasionally — consistently. Here's the physiology behind the afternoon window, the contextual freshness that evening encounters lack, and the particular quality of stolen-time delight that makes it worth protecting.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 255 min read


Prostate Play and Male Masturbation: A Practical How-To Guide
The prostate gland produces a qualitatively different form of pleasure from anything available through external stimulation alone — and most men have never explored it. Here's a practical how-to guide for prostate play through masturbation, from external perineal stimulation through internal exploration and toy recommendations.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 246 min read


Blake Blossom Fleshlight (Bombshell Texture) Review
The Blake Blossom Bombshell texture has earned its reputation as one of the most intense and varied sleeves in Fleshlight's catalog, consistently maintaining elite status among experienced collectors. After analyzing extensive user experiences, it's clear that Bombshell represents peak engineering in texture design - combining extreme stimulation with exceptional variation in a sleeve that rewards patience and skill. The distinctive offset opening, legendary "chainsaw" first

Coelle
Jun 238 min read


The Three-Part Breathwork Practice That Unlocked My Erotic Aliveness
I can now access a quality of presence and aliveness that used to require the right circumstances to appear. Here's the three-part breathwork structure from the Somatica Institute that produced that change — what each phase does, why consistency is the key, and what it has meant for intimacy with Brittney.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 236 min read


The Benefits of Showering Together (And Why We Don't Do It Enough)
Brittney and I shower together more than most couples we know — and what I've come to appreciate is that the shower is one of the few places in ordinary life where the conditions for genuine intimacy exist almost by default. Here's the physiology, the psychology, and why couples should do it more.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 225 min read


The Science of Dirty Talk: Why Words Are More Powerful Than You Think
I used to be bad at dirty talk — not from lack of interest, but from performance anxiety that dissolved once I understood what dirty talk is actually doing neurologically. Here's the science behind why words produce the physiological effects they produce, and what that means for how to approach it.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 196 min read


3 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage Right Now (That Actually Work)
Most "spice up your marriage" advice produces temporary stimulation and fades. Here are three approaches that produce genuine and durable change — tested through actual use — and why each one works at the level of presence rather than content.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 185 min read


Why Hotel Sex Is the Best Sex (And What It's Actually Teaching You)
Something happens when Brittney and I walk into a hotel room together that doesn't happen as reliably at home. Understanding why — novelty, context stripping, and the disappearance of mental load — is worth more than the hotel stay itself, because what the hotel is doing can be approximated anywhere with enough intentionality.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 175 min read


Why Men Need Other Men on Their Erotic Journey
I spent most of my twenties and thirties navigating my intimate life without a single man I could talk honestly with about it. Here's what I've found since — and why men who can talk genuinely about desire, shame, and sexual confidence with other men produce something in each other that no other context quite replicates.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 166 min read


5 Sex Games to Try in the Bedroom (That Actually Make Things More Fun)
We stumbled into our first bedroom game almost by accident — and what it produced was lighter and more genuinely fun than anything we'd planned. Here are five sex games that actually work, and the specific ingredient they introduce that long-term couples most need.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 155 min read


5 Ways Men Can Ignite Their Masculine Essence (Drawing on the Work of David Deida)
I first read Deida in 2018 and it changed how I understood the specific quality of presence that creates erotic charge in a long-term relationship. Here are five concrete ways men can ignite their masculine essence — not as performance, but as genuine cultivation of what polarity actually requires.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 127 min read


The Complete Beginner's Guide to Face Sitting for Couples
Face sitting gets searched constantly and addressed poorly almost everywhere. Here's a genuinely useful beginner's guide for couples — what it involves, the power dynamic that makes it distinctly interesting, practical positioning guidance, and what actually makes it work well for both partners.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 116 min read


The Downfall of Goal-Oriented Sex (And What John Wineland Taught Me About Preparation)
I prepare for almost everything that matters — Ironman races, presentations, coaching sessions. And then I'd walk into the bedroom and wing it. John Wineland's observation that we prepare for everything except intimacy is both obvious and genuinely revelatory. Here's what intentional preparation actually looks like.

Scott Schwertly
Jun 106 min read
bottom of page